Has to grab his own collar (internally, proverbially) over that one. Perhaps Jopson might clean some half-pause, a harder grip on his sides, just for a moment. Negotiating with himself, trying to be at least somewhat of a gentleman even as he moves on to doing what he does a moment after, tasting the skin of his back like he can dredge up sense-memories of the lightning bolt that surged between them during the punishment itself. Like he can feel it on his tongue, carry the feel away to the back of his teeth, where it'll lay and ache.
He must wonder if the way Jopson has to steady himself is a performance. Surely it is. Fine, if so, it's tantalizing that he wants Crozier to think just this small thing is enough to leave him weak-kneed. In turn it threatens arousal in him, and he has to think Alright, get a bloody grip, Frank.
Another few moments of indulgence, and he leaves off with a rasp of very-nearly-teeth on Jopson's shoulder. His hands have drifted low on his hips, fingers tempting a touch below the waistband of his trousers.
"Not quite a curative I'm afraid," he says, and takes a moment to bump his nose against the younger man's hair. Crowding him, but not restraining him. "Go on, lay down."
It would be easier if it was all a coy act. He would be able to control himself far better than he can with the hot swipe of Crozier's tongue tracing scar tissue on his back. The almost hint of teeth makes his breath catch at the back of his throat, wanting more to go with the sneaking fingers at his hips. If he was another man he might grab the captain's hand, shove it between his thighs, make it clear that he did not need to be delicate nor gentle with him.
But he isn't that man, and even with the warm press of Crozier's body at his back, he's helpless. He presses his palms over the man's hands at his hips, however, encouraging the hint of more from earlier. He'll behave, like he promised.
"Yes, sir," he murmurs, moves around the man to the bed there. He bends near in half to take his boots off first, his trousers sinking lower down his backside with how loose they are. Each buckle done and boot tossed aside, he looks over his shoulder at Crozier. Perhaps he shouldn't be so bold here, perhaps he should do as he's told - but there's a hint of something in his eye when he undoes a few more buttons, trousers falling to the floor.
"Sorry, sir, I don't wish to get grease and sea-spray on your bedclothes. I just washed and pressed them this afternoon."
Yes, that's the reason. He kneels on the bed to duck into it and stretches out on his stomach, leaving him in only his underclothes. A little confidence, a little tug on the proverbial leash - playful.
Jopson does all this, and when he looks back, Crozier doesn't play coy, either: he watches him with open appreciation, letting his steward see how much he likes it. How beautiful he thinks he is, how much the sight makes him want to do more than just look after his bruises.
Maybe he will do more. Jopson is in his bed now, nearly entirely bare.
"Suits just fine."
Except that he's not currently crawling in after him, pressed together head to toe. Crozier's got a goal, though, and so he'll keep to it. What he'll do to get there is remove his waistcoat, ostensibly to make it more comfortable to sit down (and not because he feels heat flushing him already). He picks up the glass container, moves his chair, and sits down beside Jopson along his berth. Unscrews the top of the jar, but then just holds it there in one hand, while he slides the other from the top of Jopson's spine all the way down. He sweeps over the curve of his rear, and below, a shapely thigh, the back of a knee, his half. Even his ankle, and over his heel. They have laid beside each other before, but only in the dark, only under blankets and furs. Seeing him like this is something else entirely.
... He'll get to the whole salve thing. In a minute. Acquainting himself with his steward's body, first.
To be made to lie in the Captain's bed and be petted by him is surely some fever dream. He relaxes into the bedcovers, rests his head on folded arms and looks back at Crozier, watching the movement but also admiring the look of him in just his shirtsleeves, relaxed and informal. He likes him best this way, shoulders a little more rounded, face warm, hands warmer.
The touch makes goosebumps prickle along his arms and he can't help the soft, pleased sigh.
"This may be the most curative thing yet," he says on the huff of a laugh, enjoying the way he's being touched, seen. It would be even better if he could do the same in return, if they were tangled in this berth together, touching and exploring by candle light. One day, perhaps.
For now he enjoys the touch, arches his back the tiniest bit to encourage pressure, more, anything. It's absolutely cheeky of him when he's the one who arrived late to his duties, who has not taken care of himself. But it brought him here, didn't it? Yes, the teacup will need to spill over one day when he serves it, pouring it everywhere, making an utter mess.
Crozier can't begrudge him a bit of cheekiness when he's the one who bid him to get into his bed, he's the one who's initiated each of these encounters instead of sending him to one of the surgeons. It thrills him, and he pets over where Jopson is arching up, rewarding him for the way he's showing himself off. When he draws his hand back up from exploring his other leg, his touch slides under the confines of his underthings, to where the curve of his ass meets his thigh. Very nearly invasive. Or just nostalgic for when he touched there (and deeper) last.
"That pleases me to know."
Does it ever. Feels his ego and makes him feel warm, just a little bit besotted, and furthermore aroused. He wonders if Jopson would hold still enough for him to use his mouth here, if he would be too embarrassed, or if he would endure it and have to muffle himself in the bedding.
These thoughts do not change the fact of all the dry, raw patches on his steward's back. Crozier pets higher, leaving his behind alone, though he does lean in to kiss the young man's shoulder. A small smile as he sits back up and begins to warm some salve between his hands.
"I've never considered myself easily distracted," he muses, "but alone with you for a minute or two and I'm losing all direction. We've a task to complete, here."
It takes every ounce of his self-control to prevent his hips from driving back, welcoming the man's hand to the curve of his ass or more - anything, really, that he'd like. Instead he lets out a slow breath, the sigh a shuddering thing as those tricksy fingers float up and away. However, the kiss earns Crozier a small, warm smile.
"We always complete the tasks we've deigned to take on, sir," he murmurs, a little cheeky but honest.
He watches the man work the salve between his hands, knowing it will be warm and sticky and pleasant the moment he touches him. Thomas can imagine the hands are Crozier's mouth, his tongue, exploring every part of him. He'd give this man anything he asked for - dangerous, really, but there's thrill to it. He trusts the captain above anything else, trusts him to be just dangerous enough.
"I will do my best to distract you only when there's time for it, never when it is inconvenient for you, sir."
No, he has every plan to distract him when it's unplanned, coax him out of his shell. Not that he wants to rile the captain up, but watching him get a little heated, a little aroused, a little anything other than professional makes warmth bloom behind his ribs and low in his belly.
If there weren't bruises to attend to, and the very real threat of his skin splitting with this weather, Crozier might allow himself to be very distracted. He could follow different tempting lines of thought, such as: could Jopson climax from just his fingers, pressed inside of him? How might he sound, writhing in his bunk?
But if he's going to bleed, it shouldn't be from neglect. And so his hands, warm and lightly sticky with sharp herbal-smelling ointment, make contact with that abused skin. Parts massage, parts just stroking him, shoulder to tailbone, imparting tender contact. He will seek out sore or tense spots, work into them as needed. He wants to get the salve to the point of being absorbed, and ... perhaps, then, he will ask Jopson to turn over.
"As ever, I must defer to your judgment," he says. It feels good to do this. To take care of him in some way, when Jopson focuses so much of his time on the reverse. Clearly it brings him fulfilment, and he's even expressed that he likes being able to care for him more now that they've become lovers— but Crozier likes it, too. Likes to look after people. Comrades, men under his command, and of course, paramours. Differently, that last one.
"Thank you for tonight, Thomas." Quieter, more thoughtful. "I enjoy hearing you read. Knowing what you like."
Working through knots or soothing sore skin, Jopson loses track of where the man's hands have been, the ghost of them alight on the sticky surface of his skin. His eyes flutter closed and he simply enjoys the contact, the closeness. Even though the man is not bundled up in the bed with him like they'd been in Aether, the berth is small enough he can hear the easy rise and fall of his breathing, imagines he can hear his heart beat.
"You never have to thank me, sir," he murmurs against the pillow of his arms. "I enjoy sharing with you, just as you share with me."
A little hitch of air when Crozier finds a tense spot low on his back that causes him to tense, arch into it a little bit to feel more pressure. When it releases he relaxes back down with a throaty little sigh. He could live like this forever, laid out in this man's bed with only pets and small touches to survive on for the rest of his days.
"I enjoy the way you watch me when I do."
When he reads, works, moves, anything. Being in the heart of his Captain's vision is akin to having all the gold in the world. No worries to be had, so long as he has this man's regard. A squirm on the bed, skin warm and blood turning warmer with every pass of his fingers.
"The stories you tell. The facts you add to every piece we read. The science and wonder of the world is a puzzle to you, Captain, and it pleases me greatly to watch you work as well."
Lower back, mm. He spends time there, careful but firm. Until he's not as reactive and Crozier can sweep his hand over it, as though dispelling any remaining tension. Chasing away strained nerves. Slowly but steadily inching towards that spot where the salve isn't sticky, and won't be wiped off if he makes contact with anything else.
Could Jopson really think all that? It sounds... he doesn't know. Maybe he's being put on; maybe Jopson is feeling a bit of what he's feeling, and is just taken with everything, anything.
"You'll inflate my head like that," he chides, almost embarrassed at how shy he sounds. He's forty-five years of age. "But I'm happy to know it."
Doesn't have anything else. It's who he is, all this.
"You're a part of it. The puzzle of the world, if it is one. The way people connect to each other has been made so complicated as we've gone on."
The layers between them - the hurts of the world and their past, the flattery and the affection, the heat and seduction - will always be the best part of whatever this is between them. He can trust that beneath every one of them Crozier is the man he has and always will be. There's no denying his loyalty, his care, his commitment to his men. Steadfast and resilient.
Jopson saw it in the very beginning, even when the older man would rebuke all of his attempts to do his duty as a Steward. He would be respectful, even if it was clear he was not at all pleased with the state of things.
A small laugh, warm and fond, before he speaks again, "For what it is worth, sir, this has never felt complicated."
The circumstances are muddy and complex, but complicated? Difficult? No.
"Not even when you wished to throw me out on a gig to paddle behind you. I would do that and more for you, Captain." Earnest, honest, real - but then a beat, a huff at himself.
"Especially if you keep at this, sir. I will not be able to think about anything else if I tried."
How does he always manage to find some tender note?
Crozier leans down, kisses his shoulder. When he sits back up—
"There is some element of paranoia to my initial reluctance, I'm sure," he muses. "England is quick to lay traps, and retract offerings. Do I look like a court jester, with a steward? My own, no less? Am I insulting you?"
He pets over his hair, affectionate.
"I don't imagine another would have been so patient, and clear-eyed about it. Nor found this agreeable frequency besides."
Deep thoughts while Jopson's brain melts. His captain makes a low, pleased sound, and continues to touch him. Slow and sensual, long attentive strokes, explorative rubbing. He rubs over his glutes, too, and his thighs below, purely for the pleasure of touching him there. But he doesn't linger over-long, sweeping back up to his shoulders soon enough.
"It is no hardship to keep you this way. None at all."
"I understood the predicament quite early, sir," he murmurs, voice low as the man pets his hair back. Yes, he could stay here for days, weeks, months, just like this under Crozier's care. Selfishly he would have this all to himself, a quiet thought that rises up as the sailor's hands slide their way down his back inch by inch. Jamie will always be special to him now, fond in a different way than what he feels here, now. Strange to come to the realization at all - that he would take a lifetime of just this, the two of them.
Thomas hums against his arms, his glutes tensing reflexively under the slow, careful rubs of rough skin over his own. It stirs something in him, draws out a little breath he'd been holding in, what, anticipation? Disappointment that the touch was so fleeting? Frustration, as he wants more?
"I..."
The hand has gone again to his spine, his shoulders and he relaxes again. He adjusts his weight, removing one arm from the tangle beneath his head, and reaches to touch the curve of Crozier's knee, fingers resting there at the top of it, splaying over his thigh. He hums, squirms a little to find a comfortable spot while stretched out on his belly.
"Apologies, the words have left me, sir. I do not mind, but you make it very difficult to focus."
Their first tryst had started this way. Jopson reaching back to touch him. A confession had been offered then, too, but a more profound one. Crozier touches his hand, giving him a moment before he urges him to bring it up into a more neutral position again, though he stays close, keeping that contact with him there hand in hand, his other on his back.
"Just a little more," he coaxes. "And then we'll sort ourselves out."
The hand over his moves, slides a touch to the side of Jopson's face, his cheekbone. Tracing shapes. Some young men can be moved to hardness by the changing breeze, he knows, and so deliberately drawing out this encounter must be driving him mad. It only serves to wind his own arousal tighter, thinking about Jopson flushed and wanting against his own bedsheets.
"If you think I could let you go unsatisfied after this, you think me a far more noble man than is real."
Trust: he is just as preoccupied. Simply armed with more experiencing in forging ahead anyway. And so he works on that little more, determined to take care of him and do his best to prevent further irritation to his back. When the salve is no longer spreading anywhere, his touch becomes more pointed, lingers longer in inappropriate places, and he shifts his weight forward, as if to crowd him.
"How skittish does the prospect of knocked elbows make you, lad?"
Jopson’s cheeks go pink under the soft shapes Crozier maps on the high points of his cheek bones, in the lingering beyond the contours of his cheeks and jaw. His back, his sides, the dip of his lower back, the join of his thigh to his rear. The lingering brings him to the starting edge of his arousal, the flutter of warmth in his belly lighting a pretty flush down his throat.
“I am satisfied with anything you give me, sir.”
Truth in more ways than one. Easier to feel Crozier’s body heat when he leans, crowds in. Harder to resist wanting to touch him, to turn into him and bloom under him.
“Knocked elbows, even, if you’d like. We have been so close recently, though this is certainly softer than the cots at Aether. My elbows will weather on just fine, sir.”
Thomas thinks about the rails of the joined cots, the warmth of Crozier against his chest, his back, his neck. Anywhere, anything. So long as the captain is there beside him.
Cot rails and all. Aether, gone now, a name only recalled by the two of them. How strange to think of it like that— a temporary place, half-imaginary, holding so many important moments. Crozier pets him a bit more, then proceeds with the present. Not at all imaginary, this place, this ship, and his cramped but comparatively generous cabin.
"Let's see now..."
He coaxes Thomas onto his side, and fusses to shuffle down the top blanket and free it from beneath him. It's not an uncomfortable thing, but the sheets will be softer. When that's done, he encourages him to lay down on his back this time, and Francis finds himself caught with distraction for a moment, just looking at him. A hand finds his chest, admiring. Lower, to the waist of his underwear, and then over a thigh.
Why let his steward work at all? He should just be here all the bloody time.
Alright, alright. Crozier leans down, then, to remove his own boots. Perhaps Jopson is beginning to see the vision.
A time he'll absolutely cherish and look back on fondly when he feels the bitter bite of loneliness or distance. Not here on the ship, not with Crozier - but when they make it back to England, and whatever that brings with it.
He rolls onto his side as he's directed, even helps get the blanket freed from beneath him. The sheets are much softer - he should know, he cleans and presses them often. Stretched out on his back, he turns his attention to the older man, observing his face in the light, the way he moves, breathes, everything about him. There's no hiding the beginnings of his arousal, certainly not while only in his underthings, and definitely not with the soft travel of the captain's hand along his body.
Thomas reaches for the man when he leans, skirts fingertips along his cheek, his temple, through his hair. Anything he may reach and graze, even if he's nearly ready to find his hand and pull him in atop him. Anything to get him closer.
"I could have helped you with those, sir," he murmurs, fingers skirting back to his temple, thumbing at the soft skin there, then his ear lobe. "It is my duty, after all."
Sweet touches. He can feel the restraint in them, can see the way the young man's flesh responds, and it makes him ache for it all too. Madness, that the advent of their physical relationship stemmed from such barbaric punishment, that it continues to be related to it. As though the enormity of mutual want has spilled over into every possible avenue, too potent to be restrained. Finding itself in the harshness of the strap and the soothing aid of salve.
"Next time."
Anything he likes. Crozier just wants to get out of them, at once. But since Thomas does so like to attend to his duty, here is a compromise: Crozier stands and moves the chair away, but when he returns, he takes Jopson's hand and raises it to the fastens of his trousers. Lets him decide how much he'd like him to bare, while he unbuttons his shirt and undoes the ties at his neck. Finding himself in a surprising hurry; does he even want to bother stripping it all, or should he just crawl in and get them tangled up? Spoiled for choice, is the term. Something mildly erotic about not removing it all, but on the other hand, skin and skin, that compels.
"I've never tried to fit into one of these with anyone," he mentions, amused despite the heavy way the air seems to have gone thick and hot. "Here we are at the tip of the spear of the Discovery Service in all ways."
What a paper that would be to submit to one of the societies he's a fellow of.
Next time he undresses Francis he will take his time with it, press his mouth on each piece of flesh exposed and enjoy watching the man's body warm and come to life. Hand at Crozier's fly he's able to manage it deftly with one hand, plucking at buttons and fastenings until the trousers go slack.
"Just your trousers, sir," he murmurs, giving them a playful tug to help him step out of them. He smooths his hand up the man's belly, warm skin and coarse hair, up and down to the band of his underwear. Considers, fingers dipping into the waistband as the man had done to him.
Yes, just like this, he decides. Abandoning the warm skin beneath the waistband, he instead pets at the outside of Crozier's thigh as the trousers fall to the ground.
"We must try so we may adequately report our findings as quickly as possible. The Discovery Service would be very disappointed."
A tug at his hip, encouraging - and also quietly saying underwear on, please, just like me.
Happy to match him. Underwear, and that's all; he leaves his trousers and shirt over the back of the chair. Then he's moving to the bed, his modest bunk which houses him with a few inches to spare in deference to any captains who may have extra length in the spine. One knee on either side of Jopson's (giving himself contact with the wall, gallantly), and it's parts awkward fumbling and parts easy as breathing to be there over him, on elbows and knees.
The world doesn't end. No one bursts through the door to announce they'll be hanged for violating one of the gravest crimes outlined in the Articles. It's all fine, in fact.
(If that was going to happen, he thinks it would have been Parry, and he thinks he and Jamie would have been shot dead under a part of the wreck of the Fury.)
Francis looks at him. They're awfully close. They've been closer, in that dark tent, but they weren't facing each other. There was no lamplight. Here they are, looking at each other, so little between them, and quite illuminated. He really is beautiful. For the first time he properly wonders what in the bleeding hell Thomas is doing with him. One thing for a young man to want attention for a night or two, but this is another order of thing altogether.
With weight on one elbow, he touches his steward's face. Holds him there, stroking his cheek.
A little awkward, navigating the space and trying to make room for the older man to climb into the bed atop him. A balancing act, even with Crozier perched over him. (He could pull his legs through - get them around the man's waist and create space for him to rest among other things, but later, perhaps). This is different from before, the nearness, the light, the warmth and Thomas gazes up at him, besotted and wanting.
Hands rise to skirt Crozier's sides, petting from hip to ribs then down again, settling at his waist.
"My back is fine, sir," he murmurs, quiet and almost shy. His throat flushes, his cheeks turn a shade toward ruddy now than pink. "You can rest on me, if you'd like. It won't hurt me."
Press him down into the mattress, get them closer than even the tent could. His turn to let hands wander yet again, over the curve of Crozier's behind and back to his sides, a slow and lazy loop of touches.
"I want you to be comfortable as well, sir."
While they have the time to be comfortable. It's risky, the game they've played so far, but the door is locked and all it will take is Jopson getting up to dress - the Captain being disheveled would make sense for this hour, dressing for bed. He would take the brunt of any wave that might crash down on them for this, the sweet and filthy thing they've engaged in.
Jopson would stand at the gallows and declare himself the worst of the sodomites, shield Crozier from the sharp eye of the English.
Jopson flushes so prettily, and his touch heats Crozier's blood; he wants him so earnestly. He would never have allowed himself to entertain anything, never consider anything beyond abstract appreciation of the young man's looks, before he made it plain that he'd ferreted out he and Jamie's entanglement. Before they began testing each other with small teases. He doesn't think he could have ever predicted this even as a joke, and at times it feels as fantastical as something that might appear in the pages of the book Jopson's been reading.
"We've time to get there," he assures him in a murmur.
Let it all melt together, just for tonight.
And so, after tracing his thumb over Thomas' mouth, he kisses him. Slow, as if they never have before. At an angle new to them, in a position knitted closer than anything they've yet had. If he sinks down onto him, let it be through this, through mapping each other and drawing closer as they go on.
The bunk gradually feels less cramped and more like a cozy, secret cradle. The light feels less exposing and more like a gold blanket to warm them. Francis thinks he must look ridiculous, pale skin going almost too pink when he flushes, whatever thing in his blood that made his hair bright red as a boy still showing up in his complexion. When he shifts his weight, his knee moves against the side of Thomas' leg, and that, too, is a kind of caress.
The world quiets around them, Terror seemingly careful as she parts the seas, the tosses and turns minimized to a lazy rocking. Crozier burns hot like one of his famed stars in the sky and just like in the tent, pressed together close, he wants to frame this moment. Seize it and hold it close for the impossible intimacy of it.
The kiss takes the air out of his lungs and one of his roaming hands reaches to smooth over Crozier's shoulder, not pulling or squeezing, just resting there, hooked under his arm just as a gentle anchor in the bobbing of the sea. He arches just enough to sweetly chase the kiss, slow and languorous. What would it be like to stay like this all night and wake in the morning, tangled and warm and cramped but perfectly happy?
A sigh against Crozier's mouth, a bumping of their noses, another soft and slow kiss. He shifts one leg, just enough to press back into the brush of the man's knee, enough to keep points of contact in all places, to feel him in every way he can.
"Francis," he says quietly against the man's mouth - not desperate or heated or the slurring of lust, but more soft, yearning. He opens his mouth to say something again, finds he can't put words to the overwhelm of what he's feeling, and simply kisses him again.
He wants the taste of him, even neutral like this, dinner and tea distant memories, to be familiar; he wants to get to a place where the flex of his tongue is one he can anticipate, he wants to have bumped into each tooth. A fine grain of knowing, like the exact curves and dips of a coastline, mapped with perfect, attentive detail.
He tips his head down so that Jopson doesn't have to stretch up to meet him, and gradually, the rest of him sinks down, too. Careful so that they're each comfortable, and so that no one ends up with anything pinched or knocked into. Far easier when he's only half-paying attention to it, too wrapped up in the sensations of kissing him. No hurry, no more end goals to reach, just this.
His name, on his mouth. This too has a taste. Francis sighs, welcoming it, and shares his understanding through that kiss. When they connect fully there's no way to hide how aroused they are, aligned just so, and it makes him draw in a deeper breath. Mn.
"Perhaps I'll keep this study to myself," he murmurs.
Jopson threads his arms around Crozier, one round his back, the other reaching through to touch his cheek, his chin, in the moments they aren't kissing. A need to be close, tangled, touching at all costs. The man's weight against his body draws a soft sigh, as though this is indeed what he's wanted for as long as he's known the man. (It is).
Fingers twine Crozier's hair, petting back the fair strands so that he and nuzzle softly against his cheek, his temple, mouthing softly at the man's jaw while he speaks. He wants to taste the curl of his accent, the deep rumble of his voice, the movement of his jaw, his mouth. He smiles against the man's skin, free hand running soft, delicate lines up the captain's back.
The way they slot together so perfectly means there is no hiding. Not here in the warm light of the berth, on the gently rocking Terror. The door is locked, the sheets are warm, and there are no witnesses but the pair of them. A low hum, a dull ache deep in his belly, his growing arousal no hidden thing now - nothing hidden, not here in the light.
"I will support you in all things, Captain," he murmurs, light and amused against Francis' mouth. "This study will be ours just as Aether was."
Another kiss, lingering and sweet, like Francis Crozier is all he needs to breathe in his moment.
One hand cradles Jopson's head, a perfectly fine place to keep one arm out of the way; his other pets his chest, or holds his weight up a little, or slides down to his side. Like waves going in and out, sometimes they grow more heated, and sometimes it fades to all sweet, comforting little things.
Ours.
Why does that pull at something in his chest so very—
(He knows why. But he can't look at it.)
Crozier is hard, maybe not all the way but certainly enough to be getting on with when it's just kisses and laying against someone, and he knows Jopson is too. Impossible not to know, pressed together nearly grinding. Every breath and shift teases more, and be both wants to escalate and leave it be. The feel of it suits the precarious space they've wedged themselves into, like these are the mechanics they're meant to be engaging in. A lovely feeling, but one that threatens to open up yet another deeper, hungrier maw of want.
"And what do you want, Thomas?" a sweet kiss to the side of his mouth, after a deep, plundering one. "You support me in all things. What of yourself?"
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Has to grab his own collar (internally, proverbially) over that one. Perhaps Jopson might clean some half-pause, a harder grip on his sides, just for a moment. Negotiating with himself, trying to be at least somewhat of a gentleman even as he moves on to doing what he does a moment after, tasting the skin of his back like he can dredge up sense-memories of the lightning bolt that surged between them during the punishment itself. Like he can feel it on his tongue, carry the feel away to the back of his teeth, where it'll lay and ache.
He must wonder if the way Jopson has to steady himself is a performance. Surely it is. Fine, if so, it's tantalizing that he wants Crozier to think just this small thing is enough to leave him weak-kneed. In turn it threatens arousal in him, and he has to think Alright, get a bloody grip, Frank.
Another few moments of indulgence, and he leaves off with a rasp of very-nearly-teeth on Jopson's shoulder. His hands have drifted low on his hips, fingers tempting a touch below the waistband of his trousers.
"Not quite a curative I'm afraid," he says, and takes a moment to bump his nose against the younger man's hair. Crowding him, but not restraining him. "Go on, lay down."
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But he isn't that man, and even with the warm press of Crozier's body at his back, he's helpless. He presses his palms over the man's hands at his hips, however, encouraging the hint of more from earlier. He'll behave, like he promised.
"Yes, sir," he murmurs, moves around the man to the bed there. He bends near in half to take his boots off first, his trousers sinking lower down his backside with how loose they are. Each buckle done and boot tossed aside, he looks over his shoulder at Crozier. Perhaps he shouldn't be so bold here, perhaps he should do as he's told - but there's a hint of something in his eye when he undoes a few more buttons, trousers falling to the floor.
"Sorry, sir, I don't wish to get grease and sea-spray on your bedclothes. I just washed and pressed them this afternoon."
Yes, that's the reason. He kneels on the bed to duck into it and stretches out on his stomach, leaving him in only his underclothes. A little confidence, a little tug on the proverbial leash - playful.
"Does this suit, Captain? Or should I move?"
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Maybe he will do more. Jopson is in his bed now, nearly entirely bare.
"Suits just fine."
Except that he's not currently crawling in after him, pressed together head to toe. Crozier's got a goal, though, and so he'll keep to it. What he'll do to get there is remove his waistcoat, ostensibly to make it more comfortable to sit down (and not because he feels heat flushing him already). He picks up the glass container, moves his chair, and sits down beside Jopson along his berth. Unscrews the top of the jar, but then just holds it there in one hand, while he slides the other from the top of Jopson's spine all the way down. He sweeps over the curve of his rear, and below, a shapely thigh, the back of a knee, his half. Even his ankle, and over his heel. They have laid beside each other before, but only in the dark, only under blankets and furs. Seeing him like this is something else entirely.
... He'll get to the whole salve thing. In a minute. Acquainting himself with his steward's body, first.
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The touch makes goosebumps prickle along his arms and he can't help the soft, pleased sigh.
"This may be the most curative thing yet," he says on the huff of a laugh, enjoying the way he's being touched, seen. It would be even better if he could do the same in return, if they were tangled in this berth together, touching and exploring by candle light. One day, perhaps.
For now he enjoys the touch, arches his back the tiniest bit to encourage pressure, more, anything. It's absolutely cheeky of him when he's the one who arrived late to his duties, who has not taken care of himself. But it brought him here, didn't it? Yes, the teacup will need to spill over one day when he serves it, pouring it everywhere, making an utter mess.
"I enjoy the way your hands feel, sir."
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"That pleases me to know."
Does it ever. Feels his ego and makes him feel warm, just a little bit besotted, and furthermore aroused. He wonders if Jopson would hold still enough for him to use his mouth here, if he would be too embarrassed, or if he would endure it and have to muffle himself in the bedding.
These thoughts do not change the fact of all the dry, raw patches on his steward's back. Crozier pets higher, leaving his behind alone, though he does lean in to kiss the young man's shoulder. A small smile as he sits back up and begins to warm some salve between his hands.
"I've never considered myself easily distracted," he muses, "but alone with you for a minute or two and I'm losing all direction. We've a task to complete, here."
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"We always complete the tasks we've deigned to take on, sir," he murmurs, a little cheeky but honest.
He watches the man work the salve between his hands, knowing it will be warm and sticky and pleasant the moment he touches him. Thomas can imagine the hands are Crozier's mouth, his tongue, exploring every part of him. He'd give this man anything he asked for - dangerous, really, but there's thrill to it. He trusts the captain above anything else, trusts him to be just dangerous enough.
"I will do my best to distract you only when there's time for it, never when it is inconvenient for you, sir."
No, he has every plan to distract him when it's unplanned, coax him out of his shell. Not that he wants to rile the captain up, but watching him get a little heated, a little aroused, a little anything other than professional makes warmth bloom behind his ribs and low in his belly.
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But if he's going to bleed, it shouldn't be from neglect. And so his hands, warm and lightly sticky with sharp herbal-smelling ointment, make contact with that abused skin. Parts massage, parts just stroking him, shoulder to tailbone, imparting tender contact. He will seek out sore or tense spots, work into them as needed. He wants to get the salve to the point of being absorbed, and ... perhaps, then, he will ask Jopson to turn over.
"As ever, I must defer to your judgment," he says. It feels good to do this. To take care of him in some way, when Jopson focuses so much of his time on the reverse. Clearly it brings him fulfilment, and he's even expressed that he likes being able to care for him more now that they've become lovers— but Crozier likes it, too. Likes to look after people. Comrades, men under his command, and of course, paramours. Differently, that last one.
"Thank you for tonight, Thomas." Quieter, more thoughtful. "I enjoy hearing you read. Knowing what you like."
Fiction, homely stew. ... Being a bit cheeky.
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"You never have to thank me, sir," he murmurs against the pillow of his arms. "I enjoy sharing with you, just as you share with me."
A little hitch of air when Crozier finds a tense spot low on his back that causes him to tense, arch into it a little bit to feel more pressure. When it releases he relaxes back down with a throaty little sigh. He could live like this forever, laid out in this man's bed with only pets and small touches to survive on for the rest of his days.
"I enjoy the way you watch me when I do."
When he reads, works, moves, anything. Being in the heart of his Captain's vision is akin to having all the gold in the world. No worries to be had, so long as he has this man's regard. A squirm on the bed, skin warm and blood turning warmer with every pass of his fingers.
"The stories you tell. The facts you add to every piece we read. The science and wonder of the world is a puzzle to you, Captain, and it pleases me greatly to watch you work as well."
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Could Jopson really think all that? It sounds... he doesn't know. Maybe he's being put on; maybe Jopson is feeling a bit of what he's feeling, and is just taken with everything, anything.
"You'll inflate my head like that," he chides, almost embarrassed at how shy he sounds. He's forty-five years of age. "But I'm happy to know it."
Doesn't have anything else. It's who he is, all this.
"You're a part of it. The puzzle of the world, if it is one. The way people connect to each other has been made so complicated as we've gone on."
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Jopson saw it in the very beginning, even when the older man would rebuke all of his attempts to do his duty as a Steward. He would be respectful, even if it was clear he was not at all pleased with the state of things.
A small laugh, warm and fond, before he speaks again, "For what it is worth, sir, this has never felt complicated."
The circumstances are muddy and complex, but complicated? Difficult? No.
"Not even when you wished to throw me out on a gig to paddle behind you. I would do that and more for you, Captain." Earnest, honest, real - but then a beat, a huff at himself.
"Especially if you keep at this, sir. I will not be able to think about anything else if I tried."
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Crozier leans down, kisses his shoulder. When he sits back up—
"There is some element of paranoia to my initial reluctance, I'm sure," he muses. "England is quick to lay traps, and retract offerings. Do I look like a court jester, with a steward? My own, no less? Am I insulting you?"
He pets over his hair, affectionate.
"I don't imagine another would have been so patient, and clear-eyed about it. Nor found this agreeable frequency besides."
Deep thoughts while Jopson's brain melts. His captain makes a low, pleased sound, and continues to touch him. Slow and sensual, long attentive strokes, explorative rubbing. He rubs over his glutes, too, and his thighs below, purely for the pleasure of touching him there. But he doesn't linger over-long, sweeping back up to his shoulders soon enough.
"It is no hardship to keep you this way. None at all."
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Thomas hums against his arms, his glutes tensing reflexively under the slow, careful rubs of rough skin over his own. It stirs something in him, draws out a little breath he'd been holding in, what, anticipation? Disappointment that the touch was so fleeting? Frustration, as he wants more?
"I..."
The hand has gone again to his spine, his shoulders and he relaxes again. He adjusts his weight, removing one arm from the tangle beneath his head, and reaches to touch the curve of Crozier's knee, fingers resting there at the top of it, splaying over his thigh. He hums, squirms a little to find a comfortable spot while stretched out on his belly.
"Apologies, the words have left me, sir. I do not mind, but you make it very difficult to focus."
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"Just a little more," he coaxes. "And then we'll sort ourselves out."
The hand over his moves, slides a touch to the side of Jopson's face, his cheekbone. Tracing shapes. Some young men can be moved to hardness by the changing breeze, he knows, and so deliberately drawing out this encounter must be driving him mad. It only serves to wind his own arousal tighter, thinking about Jopson flushed and wanting against his own bedsheets.
"If you think I could let you go unsatisfied after this, you think me a far more noble man than is real."
Trust: he is just as preoccupied. Simply armed with more experiencing in forging ahead anyway. And so he works on that little more, determined to take care of him and do his best to prevent further irritation to his back. When the salve is no longer spreading anywhere, his touch becomes more pointed, lingers longer in inappropriate places, and he shifts his weight forward, as if to crowd him.
"How skittish does the prospect of knocked elbows make you, lad?"
Considering. Will they both fit.
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“I am satisfied with anything you give me, sir.”
Truth in more ways than one. Easier to feel Crozier’s body heat when he leans, crowds in. Harder to resist wanting to touch him, to turn into him and bloom under him.
“Knocked elbows, even, if you’d like. We have been so close recently, though this is certainly softer than the cots at Aether. My elbows will weather on just fine, sir.”
Thomas thinks about the rails of the joined cots, the warmth of Crozier against his chest, his back, his neck. Anywhere, anything. So long as the captain is there beside him.
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Cot rails and all. Aether, gone now, a name only recalled by the two of them. How strange to think of it like that— a temporary place, half-imaginary, holding so many important moments. Crozier pets him a bit more, then proceeds with the present. Not at all imaginary, this place, this ship, and his cramped but comparatively generous cabin.
"Let's see now..."
He coaxes Thomas onto his side, and fusses to shuffle down the top blanket and free it from beneath him. It's not an uncomfortable thing, but the sheets will be softer. When that's done, he encourages him to lay down on his back this time, and Francis finds himself caught with distraction for a moment, just looking at him. A hand finds his chest, admiring. Lower, to the waist of his underwear, and then over a thigh.
Why let his steward work at all? He should just be here all the bloody time.
Alright, alright. Crozier leans down, then, to remove his own boots. Perhaps Jopson is beginning to see the vision.
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A time he'll absolutely cherish and look back on fondly when he feels the bitter bite of loneliness or distance. Not here on the ship, not with Crozier - but when they make it back to England, and whatever that brings with it.
He rolls onto his side as he's directed, even helps get the blanket freed from beneath him. The sheets are much softer - he should know, he cleans and presses them often. Stretched out on his back, he turns his attention to the older man, observing his face in the light, the way he moves, breathes, everything about him. There's no hiding the beginnings of his arousal, certainly not while only in his underthings, and definitely not with the soft travel of the captain's hand along his body.
Thomas reaches for the man when he leans, skirts fingertips along his cheek, his temple, through his hair. Anything he may reach and graze, even if he's nearly ready to find his hand and pull him in atop him. Anything to get him closer.
"I could have helped you with those, sir," he murmurs, fingers skirting back to his temple, thumbing at the soft skin there, then his ear lobe. "It is my duty, after all."
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"Next time."
Anything he likes. Crozier just wants to get out of them, at once. But since Thomas does so like to attend to his duty, here is a compromise: Crozier stands and moves the chair away, but when he returns, he takes Jopson's hand and raises it to the fastens of his trousers. Lets him decide how much he'd like him to bare, while he unbuttons his shirt and undoes the ties at his neck. Finding himself in a surprising hurry; does he even want to bother stripping it all, or should he just crawl in and get them tangled up? Spoiled for choice, is the term. Something mildly erotic about not removing it all, but on the other hand, skin and skin, that compels.
"I've never tried to fit into one of these with anyone," he mentions, amused despite the heavy way the air seems to have gone thick and hot. "Here we are at the tip of the spear of the Discovery Service in all ways."
What a paper that would be to submit to one of the societies he's a fellow of.
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"Just your trousers, sir," he murmurs, giving them a playful tug to help him step out of them. He smooths his hand up the man's belly, warm skin and coarse hair, up and down to the band of his underwear. Considers, fingers dipping into the waistband as the man had done to him.
Yes, just like this, he decides. Abandoning the warm skin beneath the waistband, he instead pets at the outside of Crozier's thigh as the trousers fall to the ground.
"We must try so we may adequately report our findings as quickly as possible. The Discovery Service would be very disappointed."
A tug at his hip, encouraging - and also quietly saying underwear on, please, just like me.
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The world doesn't end. No one bursts through the door to announce they'll be hanged for violating one of the gravest crimes outlined in the Articles. It's all fine, in fact.
(If that was going to happen, he thinks it would have been Parry, and he thinks he and Jamie would have been shot dead under a part of the wreck of the Fury.)
Francis looks at him. They're awfully close. They've been closer, in that dark tent, but they weren't facing each other. There was no lamplight. Here they are, looking at each other, so little between them, and quite illuminated. He really is beautiful. For the first time he properly wonders what in the bleeding hell Thomas is doing with him. One thing for a young man to want attention for a night or two, but this is another order of thing altogether.
With weight on one elbow, he touches his steward's face. Holds him there, stroking his cheek.
"Is your back alright like this?"
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Hands rise to skirt Crozier's sides, petting from hip to ribs then down again, settling at his waist.
"My back is fine, sir," he murmurs, quiet and almost shy. His throat flushes, his cheeks turn a shade toward ruddy now than pink. "You can rest on me, if you'd like. It won't hurt me."
Press him down into the mattress, get them closer than even the tent could. His turn to let hands wander yet again, over the curve of Crozier's behind and back to his sides, a slow and lazy loop of touches.
"I want you to be comfortable as well, sir."
While they have the time to be comfortable. It's risky, the game they've played so far, but the door is locked and all it will take is Jopson getting up to dress - the Captain being disheveled would make sense for this hour, dressing for bed. He would take the brunt of any wave that might crash down on them for this, the sweet and filthy thing they've engaged in.
Jopson would stand at the gallows and declare himself the worst of the sodomites, shield Crozier from the sharp eye of the English.
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"We've time to get there," he assures him in a murmur.
Let it all melt together, just for tonight.
And so, after tracing his thumb over Thomas' mouth, he kisses him. Slow, as if they never have before. At an angle new to them, in a position knitted closer than anything they've yet had. If he sinks down onto him, let it be through this, through mapping each other and drawing closer as they go on.
The bunk gradually feels less cramped and more like a cozy, secret cradle. The light feels less exposing and more like a gold blanket to warm them. Francis thinks he must look ridiculous, pale skin going almost too pink when he flushes, whatever thing in his blood that made his hair bright red as a boy still showing up in his complexion. When he shifts his weight, his knee moves against the side of Thomas' leg, and that, too, is a kind of caress.
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The kiss takes the air out of his lungs and one of his roaming hands reaches to smooth over Crozier's shoulder, not pulling or squeezing, just resting there, hooked under his arm just as a gentle anchor in the bobbing of the sea. He arches just enough to sweetly chase the kiss, slow and languorous. What would it be like to stay like this all night and wake in the morning, tangled and warm and cramped but perfectly happy?
A sigh against Crozier's mouth, a bumping of their noses, another soft and slow kiss. He shifts one leg, just enough to press back into the brush of the man's knee, enough to keep points of contact in all places, to feel him in every way he can.
"Francis," he says quietly against the man's mouth - not desperate or heated or the slurring of lust, but more soft, yearning. He opens his mouth to say something again, finds he can't put words to the overwhelm of what he's feeling, and simply kisses him again.
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He tips his head down so that Jopson doesn't have to stretch up to meet him, and gradually, the rest of him sinks down, too. Careful so that they're each comfortable, and so that no one ends up with anything pinched or knocked into. Far easier when he's only half-paying attention to it, too wrapped up in the sensations of kissing him. No hurry, no more end goals to reach, just this.
His name, on his mouth. This too has a taste. Francis sighs, welcoming it, and shares his understanding through that kiss. When they connect fully there's no way to hide how aroused they are, aligned just so, and it makes him draw in a deeper breath. Mn.
"Perhaps I'll keep this study to myself," he murmurs.
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Fingers twine Crozier's hair, petting back the fair strands so that he and nuzzle softly against his cheek, his temple, mouthing softly at the man's jaw while he speaks. He wants to taste the curl of his accent, the deep rumble of his voice, the movement of his jaw, his mouth. He smiles against the man's skin, free hand running soft, delicate lines up the captain's back.
The way they slot together so perfectly means there is no hiding. Not here in the warm light of the berth, on the gently rocking Terror. The door is locked, the sheets are warm, and there are no witnesses but the pair of them. A low hum, a dull ache deep in his belly, his growing arousal no hidden thing now - nothing hidden, not here in the light.
"I will support you in all things, Captain," he murmurs, light and amused against Francis' mouth. "This study will be ours just as Aether was."
Another kiss, lingering and sweet, like Francis Crozier is all he needs to breathe in his moment.
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Ours.
Why does that pull at something in his chest so very—
(He knows why. But he can't look at it.)
Crozier is hard, maybe not all the way but certainly enough to be getting on with when it's just kisses and laying against someone, and he knows Jopson is too. Impossible not to know, pressed together nearly grinding. Every breath and shift teases more, and be both wants to escalate and leave it be. The feel of it suits the precarious space they've wedged themselves into, like these are the mechanics they're meant to be engaging in. A lovely feeling, but one that threatens to open up yet another deeper, hungrier maw of want.
"And what do you want, Thomas?" a sweet kiss to the side of his mouth, after a deep, plundering one. "You support me in all things. What of yourself?"
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